Ok, today's post is about an aspect of my nature my dad calls d "Broken-wing syndrome"...
He first coined this phrase after i had introduced yet another gf with a troubled background... hehe he even asked me when i would quit falling for the 'wrong' type of girls and find me a 'normal' girl.
Hehe ok guess i'd better explain myself a bit better.... almost all d girls i dated (bar a couple ! ;) ) all had a problem or other.... something which i felt i could help them with or at least i tried... e.g. one of them had a drug problem, one was mentally ill, one had low self esteem, another came from a broken family, another suffered from chronic depression, another was in a broken marriage...u get d picture ? ...somehow i dont know how i always end up attracting these kind of girls.... and d story is always d same.... we date... she starts to get better... i lose interest... story of my life.
Its as if i have a need to be 'needed' ...i need to help someone... help them get better... once they do i guess that need in me is no longer fulfilled and i move on to d next one... in a way i guess my dad was right.... i do need to start looking for a 'normal' girl but the thing is when i dated someone who didnt 'need' me .... i felt out of my league....inadequate.... like a part of me was missing... like somehow it wasnt what i was meant to be doing.... much as i tried and worked hard at d relationship it just fell apart....
i dont know if this is making sense or not.... guess not...but its something i never truly understood or talked to anyone about.... its just another crazy aspect of my nature i guess .... hehe and its not something i can control... hehe guess wat made me write this post is d fact that i can feel the familiar feeling again today .... somewhere out there there's a soul waiting to be protected and kept safe....at least till its wings are healed and it can soar again...
Update - 09-08-10
Its been a while since i updated this blog ...been too busy with new job (actually changed two jobs since my last post !! :) ) I thought i would make a comeback and update one of the most popular posts on my blog.
Ever since i wrote this post i've had numerous emails from all over the planet of people who have the same issue as me. During the past year i've had several other 'broken wings' present themselves at my door. I attract these people on a sub-conscious level. I could be in a crowd full of people and i'd end up attracted to the cute girl with a 'Broken wing' of some kind, some large, some small that always comes out days even weeks in the relationship.
Lately i've started to notice that i'm actively seeking these people up. This is where the problem starts getting serious. I've given up a chance with an altogether beautiful, healthy, intelligent red head in pursuit of yet another broken wing ! :( ...yep u guessed it ... i felt inadequate in the red head's prsence. I actually had her lying in my arms wanting to be kissed ...and i choked !!! :(
Anyway i guess what i'm trying to say is that this problem has grown a bit out of control and i need to do something about it ! ... i'm quit trying to take care of all the Broken wings ... i'm taking back control of my life and finding me someone who actually respects me for who i am, whom i can respect for whom she is and not for watever broken wings she may be hiding.
Thats all for now people ... i'll let you know how i get on ! :)
Take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in
Take these broken wings...
....
Baby, I think tonight
We can take what is wrong and make it right
Baby, it's all I know
That you're half of the flesh and blood that makes me whole
I need you so, ohhhh...
MisterMister 1985
6 comments:
Mmmmm more than a year after your post.....I read this after googling "broken wing syndrome" I have exactly the same thing. The ones that are normal, nice and into me....I shrug them off. I find someone with issues - exact one you said - and I am there and give my heart to them. Different response though, I fall for them....and they seem to feel basically nothing. They seem to just like the attention. Either way the worst one was the last 6 months....I had to pull myself out and say "cheers". But I am gonna see a therapist to try and figure out why I do this....it needs to stop NOW! Anyways, good luck there and know other guys have a similar problem.
You are right Ruan, it needs to Stop. But its easier said then done ! good luck with your therapist, let me know how it turns out.
Me i just learnt to accept it, help as many people as i can and not think about it so much !
Be at peace with yourself brother !
hi. was googling for broken wing syndrome and came across ur blog. i am in the same situation as yours. i am always asking myself why i am falling for the wrong guys... i hope someday i can find the answer to this.
Hi Anonymous, wat i've learned is to simply accept this as a part of you, embrace it...help out as many people as you can and not let it take over your life. Somewer out there exists your soulmate...you just have to be patient ! :)
You have a big heart to help them get on their feet again. Don't stop the good act, hope you will find the perfect wing someday.
I've just realized I do the same thing. It's so eye opening. Isn't there a book on this or something?!
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